The great RENT pairing challenge
by CeruleanStarGlow
Summary: This fic will be a tribute to every pairing I can think of to force the bohos into. Everything from Mojo, to roger/mark to Benny/Alexi, to Mark/scarf, to April/Squeege man, to Mark's Mom/Joanne's Mom, to Bag lady/the man. Every pairing in the RENTverse!
1. The Challenge

**Chapter #1: Introduction [AKA- The Most Fucking Impossible Challenge]**

I have taken up a great challenge. A VERY great challenge. It may take a very long time to complete… make that an unbelievably incomprehensible time to complete. But I MUST complete it!!

I have made a list of every character in RENT that I could think of. And in this one fanfic, I will write a chapter dedicated to each possible pairing between every person.

WARNING- This fic will include incest (Mark and Mark's mom are both characters… therefore I must make a chapter dedicated to them) and slash (hello! Mark+Rogerhot gay sex) and femmslash (duh, MoJo) and utterly normal suburban marriage (Maureen's mom/Maureen's dad) Yuppies (Benny/alison) Cheating (Mimi/Benny) And suicide (April)

Here is the list-

Roger

Mimi

Mark

Collins

Angel

Benny

April

Maureen

Joanne

The man

The Squeegee man

Bohemian Junkie #1 (female)

Bohemian Junkie #2 (Male)

Homeless woman

Bag lady

Officer Martin

Homeless man

Steve

Gordon

Ali

Pam

Sue

Paul

Alexi

Alison

Mr. Grey

Mark's mom

Joanne's Mom

Joanne's Dad

Mimi's Mom

Roger's Mom

Maureen's Mom

Maureen's dad

Matr'd at the life

Life waiter

--

If my calculations are correct (and seeing as I used a calculator… I believe they are) If I write a chapter dedicated to every possible pairing of these characters, I include a chapter for mark/camera, roger/guitar, and mark/scarf. A final chapter, and this first chapter. This fic should have… 1230 chapters. That is a lot of chapters…. Well… The challenge begins…

I'd love if you reviewed and gave me ideas for chapters!! Like… I don't know what I'll end up doing for the chapter between… Benny and angel… Maybe I should make them get married after angel died and benny realizes he's married to a ghost… hmmm… interesting!!

Adios kiddies! I'm off to write strange fanfics!!

-Tazzi Glow

(Review please)


	2. RogerMimi

**Chapter #2: Roger/Mimi [AKA- Fuck]**

_Let's start with the cannon couples!_

-X-

"Mark I told you to take that damn camera out of my face!!" Roger hissed, trying, and succeeding to push Mark's camera over to where Maureen and Joanne stood, bickering as usual, in one corner of the loft. He smirked and brought his lips back to Mimi's, but only seconds later he could see Mark point the camera back at him. "Mark!! Shut the fucking camera off!"

"Stop sucking face then!" Mark shot back, pulling his head out from behind his beloved camera.

"You haven't told the lezzies to stop sucking face!" Roger said jokingly, and Mark turned to find Maureen pinned up against the wall, while Joanne started to pull off her shirt.

"Could you two please get a room?" Mark whined, and the two of them glared back at him.

Mimi smirked at the look of annoyance on Mark's face and then pulled Roger up from the couch. "We'd be happy to." She said, and pulled him out of the loft, and downstairs to her place.

"Mark needs to get a girl" She said as she pushed open the door, and flicked the lights on.

"Yeah… Sure… Now where were we?" Roger asked, and Mimi smirked and pushed him towards her room. Mimi pulled roger down onto the bed with her.

"Here?" She suggested, and pressed her lips to his.

-X-

When Roger woke up it was midmorning, and he was in Mimi's bed, but Mimi was gone. He looked at the empty space in the bed, and shrugged. She'd be back soon.

-X-

12:23

Roger looked up at the clock. Four hours… And she still hadn't returned. Did she have work today? No… she didn't work on Sundays, and if she usually left a note when she needed to take an extra shift… He shook his head and brought his mind back to the fender guitar in his arms. Automatically, he started to pluck musetta's waltz. The melody echoed through Mimi's loft.

-X-

3:54 PM

Where the fuck was she? She'd been gone almost eight hours… Something was wrong. Roger grabbed his coat and slid it on as he hurried out of the loft.

-X-

1:12 PM

A thin, Latina woman shivered on an old bench in Thompkin's Square Park*, and she tugged her coat farther around her. Her shivering didn't stop, however, and it had nothing to do with the cold. She gazed longingly at a young woman who looked familiar… what was her name? Ronnie? Rosa? Rosie? Yeah… Rosie. She had been at the life café for the party after Maureen's show, and right now, she, not Mimi, had just bought one of those little packets of powder from the Man. She stared longingly at the girl's fist, knowing what was clutched inside, and she wanted to rip it out. She wanted some for herself, but she didn't have any money, and she wasn't just going to take the smack from one of her friends. The Man Looked over to her, and started to stride towards her.

"Need anything sweetie?" He asked. And she closed her eyes.

"I'm broke…" She told him.

"I can take other currency…" He smirked at her.

"I'm a stripper, not a prostitute" She told him sharply and glared.

He smirked. And she heard the sound of something dropping to the ground.

"It'll be double next time missy, and don't think I won't remember. And don't expect any other freebies." He turned and walked away, and Mimi snatched the bag from the ground.

-X-

6:45 PM

It was dark already, and Roger was heading back to the loft. He'd been wandering around for hours, and hadn't been able to find Mimi anywhere. He pushed the door open and strode in, dropping his coat onto a small table, when he turned, and saw Mimi shivering on her bed. She was clutching something tightly in her fist, and she had tears running down her cheeks.

"Meems?!" Roger asked, surprised and concerned as he ran over to her, and wrapped his arms around her. He took her clenched fist in his, and it fell open, revealing the little plastic bag of white powder. His anger flared up immediately.

"You were out for ten hours today, **Buying smack?!**" He asked incredulously.

She shook her head.

"Then where did you get this?" Roger asked. Annoyed at her lying.

"He… He gave it to me… Said not to expect any other freebies… I didn't have money… Said… I'd pay double next time… I wasn't… I didn't come to him… He… I didn't ask… I was just there… I'm…"

"Shhh… Meems. Give that to me." Roger told her and held out his hand. She tensed. Her hand clutched the bag as if mere skin contact with it would rid her of withdrawal.

"B-But…" She stuttered. She was shaking more now.

"It'll make everything end" She told him, her words wracked with sobs.

"No it won't. This'll just happen again Meems. You have to stop. Just wait out the withdrawal… It'll end. Just give me the smack." He told her.

"Just this one fix Roger! I'll take it and never touch it again." She begged him. Why was she begging? She was the one holding the smack.

"Yes you fucking will!!" He shouted at her, and her sobbing got worse. And his voice softened again. He was fighting all his rage. "Come on meems" He brought his hand back up to hers and stroked it softly, and she started to relax. Her sobs were less wracking, and her tears subsided. She still shook gently, but he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. He eased the bag of smack from her hand, and clutched it in his own. "It'll be fine" He whispered, and the two of them drifted off to sleep.

-X-

8:42 AM

Roger woke up and Mimi wasn't in the bed. The bathroom door was locked. And the little bag of smack had disappeared. Fuck.

-X-

_*When I wrote this i had just come back from a concert in Bryant park, so I accidentally put the wrong park name down in my first draft of this. I switched it back to Thompkin's Square Park. Sorry to any New Yorkers who caught that the first time they read it._

_-X-_

_Okay guys… I was trying not to make them useless fluff, and actually have a plot(sort of). So this one is my Roger/Mimi and I hope you like it!! One down… 1229 to go._

_Adios Chicas/Chicos_

_-Glow_


	3. MarkCamera and MoJo

**Chapter #3: Mark/Camera and Maureen/Joanne [AKA- Mark Makes a Porno]**

_I'm cheating. This is Mark/Camera and Maureen/Joanne._

_I'd like to thank jumpOVERtheMOON for the fabulous idea! You cured my writer's block! _

-X-

_I can do this… I know I can do this… There's nothing stopping me except dignity… And really why can't I just give that up? It's not like I'm not already starving and squatting in a loft in the shittiest neighborhood in this city… Yes… today is the day… the day that I will give up sleaze forever… I'm leaving Alexi… _

Selling his soul hadn't gotten Mark Cohen much farther in life. A few extra bucks for food and AZT, and then…? So he quit to pursue his own dreams, and to make his own film. Now that that was finished, what was there to do? What could he do to follow his dreams, that could also get him and Roger some cash? The answer popped into his head almost immediately. He could fulfill that dream he had had so long ago, when he was nineteen years old suffering miserably at Brown.

Mark was going to make a porno.

-X-

"Mark!? Are you fucking serious!?" Roger burst out laughing. "You-" He choked on his words. "You're making a sex tape!!?"

Maureen and Joanne immediately burst out laughing from across the room.

"WHAT!?" mark screeched. "What is so funny about that!!?"

"Mark… honey… You do realize you'll need a partner, right?" Joanne asked.

"Yeah, someone who's willing to fuck your skinny ass on camera!"

"Oh come on Roger! That was mean!" Maureen whined.

"You're telling me it's not true?"

"Well… His ass is kind of skinny…"

"Thanks so much for telling everyone your opinion of my ass." Mark said, indignant, before grabbing his camera and leaving the room. He slammed the bedroom door and locked it, before grabbing his tripod from the corner and setting it up so it had a perfect view of the falling apart, rusty cot that was squished into the corner of the room. He turned his camera on, and stalked over to the bed.

He looked up. He looked around. He sighed and put his head in his hands. Roger was right… If he was going to make a sex tape… He needed another person… unless… Mark unzipped his jeans, and slid a hand inside his boxers, letting a low moan escape his lips.

-X-

Roger, Maureen, and Joanne all gaped at the door, listening to the sounds that were coming out of Marks room; moans, groans, and the ever steady clicking of his camera running. The two lesbians looked amused, and Roger looked like he was going to be sick. One more moan, and he clamped a hand over his mouth and ran out of the loft.

Maureen just laughed and moved closer to the door, pressing her ear to it. Joanne quirked an eyebrow at the drama queen, and pulled her away from the door. She pressed their lips together. "I can moan too, you know."

Maureen grinned. "I know, Pookie, I know"

-X-

When Mark did emerge from his room, he held his camera, still running, in his hands. He was not prepared, however, to be faced with a perfectly clear view of his ex-girlfriend, and the woman she left him for, errrr… getting at it… on his couch. He dropped the camera in shock, before sprinting out of the loft. There were some things in life that he really didn't need to see.

-X-

The whole thing had been forgotten a year later, when the bohemians had decided to get together one day to watch all of Marks films and drink their weight in beer and vodka. After a clip of Mimi dancing in the street flicked to black, Roger pulled a random roll of film from a box on the floor. They loaded it into the projector and turned it on. The seven Bohos all gasped as the film started.

If Mark could move, he would have turned off the projector in two seconds… but as it was… he couldn't, so he just stared in disbelief. The entire loft was silent and still as the images played across the wall. Eyes were wide, and mouths gaped.

Everyone seemed to relax as it seemed to end. Video mark zipped up his pants, stood up from the bed, and pulled the camera off the tripod, and walked towards the door with it. And then the door opened, and the camera was dropped, landing sideways on a table, unharmed, still running. On the side of the frame, mark could be seen running towards the door, and out of the loft. In the center, were Maureen and Joanne.

After about fifteen minutes, someone had the sense to turn off the projector, and the bohos sat together in darkness and silence. Collins cleared his throat.

"I hate to tell you Mark… But Maureen and Joanne make a better porno than you do."

-X-

_End chapter._

_I'm not really sure how this turned out… oh well…_

_I needed to get another chapter out… I've waited long enough to finish updating this fic…_

_Well… Read and review folks… read and review._

_-Glow_


	4. CollinsAngel

**Chapter #4: Collins/Angel [AKA-Trip and Fall Again]**

-X-

_Minds raced. Thoughts ran in circles, tighter and tighter, and even tighter, until they tripped over themselves. Colors swarmed, and images danced across the screen. A movie screen playing images that were almost comprehensible. Why was there a movie screen? And… why was there a movie? The last thing he remembered was talking to Mark… Mark! He was screening an edited version of his film… _

I smiled as the image of my angel came up on the screen. He was laughing. He was so beautiful when he laughed… I miss his laugh…

_And then there it was. The all too familiar chuckle, and the equally familiar warmth as a hand covered his own. Collins turned, grinning and looked into the eyes of his lover. _

Beautiful, I'd always told him he was beautiful. My queen, with the most beautiful eyes, warm brown eyes…

_But they weren't brown. They were even more beautiful. Technicolor. And they were shining with some kind of emotion. Love… Joy… Laughter… Collins could sit there forever, just next to him, hands clasped. Just… together. Together was enough._

And then the film ended. I watched as the rest of the Bohos left the room, congratulating Mark. Maureen turned to look at me. "Collins, you coming? We're all going to the Life."

"Nah… I'm good. I'll just stay here for a while… Have fun."

Maureen looked a bit concerned, but forced a smile, before grabbing her jacket and following the Bohos out of the loft.

-X-

_And then their lips were pressed together, tongues dancing, hearts beating hard and fast. Collins pushed his Angel against a wall that came alive with color, and light, and pulsating patterns. Clothes seemed to be torn off without notice, disappearing the moment they were removed, revealing skin so soft and smooth and flushed it was almost unreal. _

Angel's touch was so familiar, it was impossible to believe that it had been months since we had last been together. His hands were strong again, and warm, and the lesions on his face and chest were gone. He looked healthier than I had ever seen him… Like he might have looked before… Before AIDS…

_And then he didn't. The young man's skin paled, and he was thinner. Those eyes, the brown… No… those Technicolor eyes lost their color. They turned black, and empty. He coughed, and hacked, the sound that had plagued Collins head for months was back. _

I couldn't stand it. The sound of my Angel coughing, over and over. I covered my ears, and I screamed. "Stop it! Just shut up! SHUT UP!"

_And then there was red. And the coughing continue… only now there was blood, flocks of it across his vision. Staining their clothes, staining the room. Everything was washed in a morbid crimson. He closed his eyes, but the color remained, burned into his mind forever. And then there was silence. The blood slowly dripped away. His Angel stopped coughing. _

"Thank you… Thank you… Thank- NO! No, DON'T!"

_The lesions started appearing. Dark spots growing faster than they should have. First on his arms, then his chest, then his neck, and then the tiny devils began to infect his Angel's perfect face. And then his arms were empty, and the red stains seemed to return, sinking into the walls and the floor. He screamed._

I could feel the sticky liquid drying on my as a sobbed, and I pulled myself up from the worn couch. I stepped into the bathroom, into the moldering shower. I turned the water as hot as it would go, and I scrubbed. I washed the blood off of my skin, scrubbing every inch, until all of the gore, and all the memory of Angel's touch was gone from my body.

_But it couldn't ever leave him… It never would. That thought brought Collins to his knees. Tears hot, and wet, and salty streaming down his cheeks. The loft once again echoed with aching screams._

-X-

I could feel cold. Cold and darkness. The colors were gone. And the sounds as well. There was nothing but the feel of icy air and icy water. Had hours passed? Had days passed? I heard a door open… somewhere far away… and Mark's voice could be heard in the main room.

"Collins! Are you still here?" There was a pause, and I heard his voice again. Quieter this time. "He's probably gone back to his apartment. He wouldn't stay here alone all day…"

"Mark?" My voice cracked as I said it, and the energy it took to speak had my vision swimming, but I could hear footsteps, and I could hear the bathroom door open, and the shower curtain was pulled away, and then I heard him gasp.

"What happened to you Collins?" He helped me stand, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Bags under my eyes, still in my clothes, but they were soaking and they clung to me, exposing how thin I actually was.

"B-bad Tr… tr… trip" I stuttered, suddenly realizing I was shivering.

"C'mon. I'll get you some dry clothes," Mark told me as he led me out of the bathroom and sat me down on the couch. He returned with a dry towel and a pile of clothes.

"Thanks." I forced a smile for him.

"No problem." He forced one as well.

-X-

_I'm sorry it was so… depressing…however I'm very proud of myself for updating so soon._

_Please read and review. Comments, ideas, suggestions, constructive criticism, non-constructive criticism, flat out flames; all reviews are welcome [Flames are only sort of welcome]_

_Peace and Love,_

_Glow_


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